If the World Was Ending and a Side of Olympic Provisions

I do not actually believe that the world will end on Friday- mostly because it will already be Saturday in Samoa and therefore not the 21st slash end of the world in the whole world. Besides, I am clearly not grabbing life by it’s La Perla-fied jugs since I am spending my alleged last fifty-something hours in a bathrobe with a cell-repairing face mask simultaneously blogging and laundering all my leggings. Obviously if the world was ending the last thing I would be concerned with besides the caloric content of dulce de leche cheesecake is the rejuvenation of my face cells.

Instead, if I were completely certain that we were about to encounter the apocalypse, I would flock together everyone I know (and enjoy the company of) in my immediate vicinity and acquire a private jet (or just book the entire Emirates A380 first class cabin) to Dubai and spend fourteen hours double fisting glow in the dark Dom Perignon and negotiating a booking for an emergency End of the World outfit fitting at Alexander McQueen post-touchdown.

Then again as I am a very logistic-oriented thinker, this may indeed be a difficult plan of action as the entire world would be in a fit of chaos since the majority of humanity would be ruthlessly acting on their end-of-the-world desires. Instead (we are realistically speaking here for a change) I would probably get lazy, stay in Portland and do the same things I normally do except exponentially enhanced (ie. have generous portions of foie gras at every meal, wear sequins/fur/Louboutins everywhere including to bed)…and fly in my best friend, Naz to do it all beside me. Then, I would probably just get real forlorn and nostalgic and call everyone I know and insist we go to brunch…and give lots of hugs and kisses.

Italian Board: Two Italian salamis, mortadella, capicola, fresh Italian sausage, Pecorino Sardo

Italian Board: Two Italian salamis, mortadella, capicola, fresh Italian sausage, Pecorino Sardo

Bloody Mart

Bloody Mary

Yukon Gold Potato Gratin, onion-mushroom ragout, poached eggs

Yukon Gold Potato Gratin, onion-mushroom ragout, poached eggs

Sweetheart Ham Benedict

Sweetheart Ham Benedict

Olympic Provisions is a good choice for a last brunch if you also happen to be in Portland when the world ends; that’s about as much of a review as you’re going to need. Also the potatoes here are to die for…that and the meat and the consistency of their poached eggs.

What would you do if the world was ACTUALLY ending on Friday night?

If you had 24 hours to do absolutely whatever you wanted and those 24 hours would be deleted from your life and void of any consequence/repercussions what would you do? 

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